Are we talking about the same thing?

A young man was walking along the street in New York City. He was carrying a cello. He stopped a woman and asked: “How do I get to Carneige Hall?”

 

The woman answered: “Practice, practice, practice.”

OK, so it is a very old joke. But like many old jokes, it reflects real life. The young man was looking for instructions, but what he got was advice.

 

It happens to everyone at one time or another. Even soul mates, good buddies, and best friends forever, have times when they think they are talking about the same thing but find themselves confused or unable to reach an agreement.

 

Each person with whom we come in contact has their own unique perspective on the world. That perspective or point of view is filtered by that person’s life experiences. Even identical twins look at the world from different perspectives. Finding out what other people really think about a situation is essential for effective communication, including planning and problem solving.

Organizational development consultants talk about the need for “shared assumptions” in a workgroup and process improvement facilitators refer to” operational definition.” Regardless of what various professions may call it, effective communication is about have a common ground, a shared understanding of what is being discussed.

 

History Lesson: 1999 NASA’s Mars Polar Orbiter

What happens when people involved in a relationship, a work project or some other event do not have a shared understanding about what is being worked on or discussed? The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) found out the hard way:

 

In September, 1999, NASA’s Mars Polar Orbiter burned up on impact with the thin Martian atmosphere because two navigation teams and their computers had confused English and metric units. At a cost of $125 million and after flying more than 415 million miles over nine months, the spacecraft was about to enter its first orbit around the planet when it accidentally flew too low toward Mars.

Lockheed Martin engineers in Colorado, who built the spacecraft, sent the orbiter's final course and velocity to Pasadena, CA using the English measure of pounds per second of force. However, the spacecraft's navigation team at Jet Propulsion Laboratory Mission Control in California used the metric term newtons, or grams per second of force, to send final course and velocity commands to the spacecraft.

 

After the orbiter’s destruction, it was discovered that the correct units of measure were not specifically stated in any of the contracts, blueprints, other project planning documents or meeting minutes.

Practical Life Application
How do we apply the lesson of NASA’s lack of shared assumptions? When involved in a discussion that seems to be going nowhere or where tempers are flaring, remember the wisdom of Eugene Lewis Fordsworthe, “Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.” So, stop and ask the following questions

• Do we all have the same assumptions about the situation?
• Do the words or concepts we are using have the same meaning for each person involved?
• How can we clarify meaning and assumptions to create common ground for discussion or problem resolution?

When working together to establish common ground, remember that there are no right or wrong answers. Even the “facts” of a situation depend on each person’s knowledge and experience. When asking questions, ask about facts, the how and why of the situation, the person’s opinion of the situation and ask open ended questions rather that yes/no questions.

Don’t let your relationships “burn up” due the lack of common ground.

 

References

Perlman, D., “Simple Error Doomed Mars Polar Orbiter,” San Francisco Chronicle, October 1, 1999. http://articles.sfgate.com/1999-10-01/news/17701903_1_mars-polar-lander-martian-atmosphere-mars-pathfinder